'Just elope': Husband-to-be bemoans 'group project' of wedding planning with parents

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
May 16, 2024 4:00 PM EDT

I've never understood the appeal of having a big wedding. Attending one can be a lot of fun, but actually planning it all, and spending all that money on a singular day? I don't think so. 

At the same time, I realize that not everybody feels that way. For many people, the day they get married is one of the most important in their lives, and they want their festivities to reflect that. One issue that they can run into, though, is that their parents can feel even more strongly about this.

This is something that was recently discussed in an informative and entertaining Twitter thread. When a groom in waiting complained of having to wedding plan with his parents, numerous married and unmarried people alike were ready to sympathize with his plight. Who knew things like flowers, party favors, and seating arrangements could bring out your dad's inner bridezilla?

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    Hom you s
    via Foto Pettine
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    Nikhil Krishnan @nikillinit Follow weddings are the first time you do a group project with your parents and wow is it an eye-opening experience
    via nikillinit
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    Nikhil Krishnan @nikillinit 01 May Replying to @nikillinit no idea how people do the whole "taking over the family business" thing, it must just be an insane amount of phone calls with no documentation anywhere about how things work
    via nikillinit
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    KartyB @KartyB - 01 May Replying to @nikillinit Wedding planner! Best investment for Indian weddings. Having your parents accountable to someone else and someone you are giving money to changes their mindset. When they realize how much an hour you're (or they're) paying them, the dynamics changes quickly. 278 ili 72K ☐ ∞ 275 Nikhil Krishnan @nikillinit 01 May · Unfortunately the good planners know exactly how much they're worth and the bad planners are actually extra work
    via KartyB
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    natasha mascarenhas Follow @nmasc_ Replying to @nikillinit about to start scheduling monthly all hands.............
    via nmasc_
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    neeraj berry @neerajberry 01 May Replying to @nikillinit • def helps you contextualize yourself as the original group project they worked on
    via neerajberry
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    Fedon | Self-Coaching @myselfcoaching1 Replying to @nikillinit Follow It's a crash course in patience, teamwork, and family dynamics.
    via myselfcoaching1
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    Shefali Manoj Patel ❤ @ShefaliManojInc Replying to @nikillinit Follow Just elope. It's not worth it lol. Spend the money traveling the world together or buy a house / business. It's about the two of you, ultimately.
    via ShefaliManojInc
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    Darpan • @thepateleffect 01 May Replying to @nikillinit I'm still the one that's apart of the group and only am passing.....for participation points..
    via thepateleffect
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    Aleka Gürel @AlekaGurel 01 May Replying to @nikillinit A memorable quote from a friend - "before this I thought both sets of our parents were reasonable people”
    via AlekaGurel
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    NBAmyA @NBAmyAnderson 01 May Replying to @nikillinit • Basically a corporate merger in disguise. At least that's how I felt
    via NBAmyAnderson
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    Andrew @aparkthelark 02 May Replying to @nikillinit I'm getting married this weekend. My parents probably wouldn't make it on one of our product teams that's for sure lol.
    via aparkthelark
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    THIS IS A SLOW PEACEFUL ROAD snake plant @maryhoeliver 02 May Replying to @nikillinit • Figure out which parts of the wedding matter most to your parents - ask them to handle those & handle everything else w your partner. Husband and I did this & it reduced our workload by a lot
    via maryhoeliver
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    erin wolleon. @erinwolleon - 02 May Replying to @nikillinit I guess our parents were the "here's 20 bucks, just put our name on it" type of group members. Phew.
    via erinwolleon
  • 15
    Jamie Rice @Jamie Rice82.02 May Replying to @nikillinit My now husband and I got so fed up and stressed out it was so hard working with my parents. We finally just decided to say screw it and was married by a judge instead. No regrets.
    via JamieRice82
  • 16
    Liz @lizzy_strom 3d • Microdosing this by planning my grandmother's 90th birthday and let me tell you, I'll shock the world if I don't elope
    via lizzy_strom
  • 17
    patli pin wala charger @garlichesenaan Follow Some of y'all never been on family vacations as the eldest child
    via garlichesenaan
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    ah.bet. @AbetTweets 02 May • Lol I don't miss wedding planning at. all.
    via AbetTweets
  • 19
    hamnah @Hamnah_m484.5d planning a trip is a family group project too and no one ever sees eye to eye
    via Hamnah_m484

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Tags

twitter marriage Twitter Thread wedding parents poor planning wedding planning teamwork parenting planning
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